I believe we have all been mentees and mentors at some point during our training; we have been receiving guidance from our seniors and eventually pass on this wisdom to our juniors, albeit in an informal setting.
However, since I have become a consultant, I have been in a formal mentoring system for my residents and fellows, as well as with students in the UP College of Medicine. As a mentor, I have had to have several hats, from a coach, to a teacher, to an adviser, a counsellor, support system, and ally.
To be a good mentor is to be both a good role model and friend; to find a balance between being firm and supportive. To be a mentor is like being a parent; knowing when to discipline, and when to comfort, and sometimes, doing both at the same time.
Becoming a better mentor requires a multitude of skills, such as active listening, developing trust, creating a safe space, and good communication. As trust is something that is central to being a good mentor, it is recommended that the mentoring relationship be set for a long time, and should be consistent.
A major hurdle to overcome, especially in the medical field, is to find common time for all parties involved. However, this is important: to make your mentee feel given importance, by being in the moment and not rushing the mentoring sessions.
It is also important to note that mentoring is not an end-all-be-all solution; not all mentors are equipped with all the tools needed, and it is also helpful to have pathways to address difficult situations, such as mental health concerns, and psychological red flags, that must be addressed to the proper agencies, without overstepping on confidentiality.
With everything that has been said, it becomes obvious that mentoring can be so many things, and can also mean different things for different people. This emphasizes the idea that in the first few mentoring sessions, just as in any relationship, setting of expectations is very helpful, this way we can address the needs of the mentees, within what we can offer as mentors, to have a more fruitful mentoring relationship
